I thought of Rob Thomas lyrics "Everyone here knows - that everyone here is thinking - about dance with somebody lyrics else." Those words, specifically - were not my doorway to understanding, but they were the key ... to the opposite door.

If anybody IS "thinking of me," they are likely thinking good things - like of fond memories or the love and light we share. But in all likelihood, there was nobody thinking of me in that moment, let alone EVERYONE or many people.

It was suddenly clear to me, how irrational I have been at times. To feel that so many people were at home, shaking their heads and sighing at Jon's failures and short comings - it's just silly. I actually had to giggle at myself.

I wondered onward. This is something I have done for years and years, this worrysome busymind. Perhaps, I am not the only one? At this point, Rob Thomas's words resurfaced. But, it's not that "everyone is thinking about some one else." Everyone, just like me in that moment, is more likely to be thinking about themselves.

So, that was funny to me. Everyone is thinking about what others must think of them, when basically that really adds up to - every one is just thinking about themselves.

For what its worth...